On The Price Of a Soul

 The price of a soul is tremendously over estimated

Really over rated

I should know

I have tried to sell mine on a number of occasions

The rumor that Satan wants every soul just isnít so.

 

First I tried to trade for a little talent, then a gift of calculating mental agility

I would have settled for some athletic ability

A couple of winning lottery tickets would have been great

What if I could think up some truly great invention

Anything to rescue me from my dull, humdrum ordinary fate

 

There are Senators and Congressmen who appear to have no problem

With the sale of their soul, some of them have sold the same soul several times

But no, not me, not one offer, not even for a single solitary dime

And those attorneys that represented OJ

I donít have to tell you that the deal they worked out was more than just OK

 

The government employees, you know, the bureaucrats

They donít even have to make a deal with the devil

Satan just comes by collects what he wants and drops off mountains of benefits,

tons of vacation pay, sick leave and even a couple sacks of  workmanís comp

God, Iím jealous, all I ask is a playing field thatís level

 

I have come to understand that no one wants to buy my soul

Because it requires to much care, feeding and attention

At this point in my life I was beginning to think, ok, if I can not sell it

Maybe, just maybe, I could lease it out in exchange for something I could keep

But alas here lately I find that the best I can do it rent it out real cheap

 

Last week I was able to hook up an illegal television cable

Iíll be saving  $29.95 a month on an ongoing basis for just a tiny piece

Of my soul, which I will barely miss

And I discovered when dining out at some fancy feast

Your friends and relatives will always pay if you donít actively resist

 

You can hire and illegal alien to do yard work

Cheaper than the kid next door, I wonder why

I am nice to everyone even if they are a jerk

Because someday, somehow I might get something that belongs to them

And the thought of something free makes me so happy I could cry

 

But do you know what, no matter how far I reduced the price of my soul

It was never quite as low as what some other fool was willing go

I think the fair market price of a soul would be higher

If we would all agree to hold out for a really great deal,

and somehow turn the tables on the buyer