On The Mechanics of Male & Female Physiology

(or Why she complains of a backache and wants her back rubbed more often than I do)

Early in the evening she said to me

ďOh, Honey, I know itís been a long day and I know you are tired

and I know you are sore

But Come to the Bedroom and Shut the Door

Letís go to bed early and hit the sack

Iím too tired to fool around, I just wanted you to rub my backĒ


Hers (Purse)

Mine (Wallet & Pockets)


Grocery store coupons

Four recipes from a friend at work

Cell phone

Phone book

A receipt for a dress bought last week

Cosmetic Bag Containing


Eye Shadow



Contact lens holder

Mini tooth brush

3 hair pins


Contact Lens water

A mirror

Nail clippers                                                                                               

2 Finger nail polish bottles ( two colors)


Two moist wipe packets from The Chicken Restaurant

Hair Brush

Loose Change

One and one half pounds of pennies

Two pounds seven ounces quarters

One quarter of a pound of dimes

A fifty cent piece

Five letters to be mailed

Twenty four loose Kleenex (new)

Two used Kleenex with lipstick smudge

Pack of Chewing Gum

Pill Box





Miscellaneous Rx Medications

Two empty prescription jars for refill reminder

Solar Powered Calculator

Directions to party last month

Plastic Baby Picture Foldout containing 54 baby pictures

A thank you peppermint from the Mexican Restaurant

Pocket book

More Grand children pictures

Drivers license

Health Insurance card

Proof of insurance certificate

Old Out of Date Drivers License

Master Charge


Expired Master Charge

Expired Visa

Revoked Library Card

Two One Cent Postage Stamps

Our Daughters High School Senior picture

One sons picture from Junior High

Our Other sonís picture from Graduation

Her beauticianís Business card

The housekeepers phone number

The address of the grand babyís day care

More miscellaneous change in the change pocket

A Five Dollar Bill

A One Dollar Bill

A receipt for new shoes

Five key Rings

Keys to Sonís House and gate

Key to Daughter's house

Keys to Mother's house

Personal Key Chain

House Key

2 car keys

Key to old house

Key to office at work

Key to charity clothes closet

One unidentified Key ring with 4 keys (no clue as to identity)

Small Hair spray bottle

Breath freshener

An extra watch

One ear ring

Newspaper page with sale advertisement

A parking pass

A safety pin

Two band aids (new)

One used band aid

An appointment card for the Dentist

AND Last But Not least Ė Business card for Chiropractor


Her Total Item Count: 234 and counting

Her total Weight:  55 lbs 8 oz




Drivers License

Cell phone

Master Charge


Two ATM cards

Library Card

Firearm Safety Card

Organ Donor Card

Two baseball Ticket stubs

Two supermarket club cards (miniature)

A One Dollar Bill, a Ten and Two Twenties

Health Insurance Card

Auto Club Card

Proof of Insurance Certificate

Key Ring

House Key

Office Key

Gun box key

Bicycle padlock key

Mail Box Key

Four Car keys

Loose Change

Two Quarters

One Dime

Six Pennies

Cell Phone on belt clip (counts only Ĺ)

Two tokens to chucky cheese game arcade


My Total Items count:  25 1/2

Total Weight:  1lb 4 oz



(I think maybe I will rub her tired back,

after all she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders)